Author: Abby
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Better to have lost then loved…
The terrible cost of loving ourselves People always talk about how important it is to love yourself. No-one ever talks about how much that hurts. Maybe if you’ve always loved yourself it’s not the case. Most of us haven’t though. Despite the best efforts of our parents who usually do love us despite all their…
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Who’s afraid of (cis)gender
Last year the Aotearoa Psychotherapists Association of New Zealand (APANZ) held their national conference on the theme of sex, sexuality and gender. With a number of the talks focusing on gender identity, the words ‘cisgender’ as well as ‘transgender’ were obviously used. I was disappointed but not surprised to hear that a number of people…
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David Bell is wrong and he knows it
Or: Why we need to stop platforming disingenuous anti-trans speakers I wanted to write this essay as a primer for anyone who might up until now have only been witnessing the debate about trans rights from the outside. I want to make the case that anti-trans activists and speakers are not acting in good faith…
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On therapy and the language of transition
How the process of change in therapy mirrors the process of transgender people’s journeys. The further I’ve progressed in my journey as a trans woman, the more uncomfortable I’ve become with some of the language around this process. Reflecting on it I realise that a lot of it is because much of the language around…
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The role of exploration in gender-affirming therapy
A professional association of which I am a member has seen a number of conversations recently about ‘gender-affirming’ therapy and how this does or doesn’t align with psychotherapy as a fundamentally ‘exploratory’ approach to treatment. In many cases, I believe some of the points being made in these conversations stem from a misunderstanding about what…